How to win, and how to lose with grace ... on being a role model, and true sportsmanship

In his keynote address Thursday to the U.S. Olympic & Paralympic assembly, Gene Sykes, the chair of the USOPC board, offered a few words about the role of U.S. athletes. A few minutes later, the USOPC bestowed its Jack Kelly Fair Play Award on Hunter Armstrong, an American swimmer.

The Olympic movement can often seem rough around the edges. It carries with it the attributes of a very big – a billion-dollar – business. The geopolitics of it all can be wearisome to many. Then there’s the doping, the corruption, the hard realities of living in a world often at odds with the aspirational ideals, the best of each and all of us, that the Olympics stands for.

It served then as a genuinely lovely reminder Thursday to listen first to Sykes, and then to Armstrong, to remember what’s at the core of the Olympics. Why it matters so very much in our broken and fragile world. Still.

First, Sykes.

“Athletes are the heart and soul of our community. Your dedication, resilience and exceptional achievements inspire us. You sacrifice enormously to represent our country and to achieve your dreams on the world stage. Your powerful stories are stories of hope, perseverance, courage and triumph. I’m in awe of the unwavering commitment of Team USA athletes.

“You are not just competitors but ambassadors of goodwill for the Olympic and Paralympic movement. And for America.

“You are heroes and role models in that you reflect the very best of American society. On the field. Off the field. In success as well as struggle.”

A few minutes later, Armstrong. Keep in mind when reading his insight, his wisdom, that Hunter Armstrong, from Dover, Ohio, is just 22 years old. He will turn 23 in January.

The back story:

At the 2022 FINA world championships in Budapest, in the 50-meter backstroke, American Justin Ress touched first, in 24.12 seconds. Armstrong, his friend and teammate, was next, two-hundredths back.

Ress’ elation was short-lived. He was disqualified for being submerged at the finish. Armstrong was announced as the winner.

They even had a medal ceremony for Armstrong.

The medalists after the Ress DQ: silver medalist Poland’s Ksawery Masluk, left, Hunter Armstrong and bronze medalist Thomas Ceccon of Italy // Attila Kisbendek/AFP // Getty Images

The U.S. team, meantime, lodged a protest.

Now, to Armstrong’s words Thursday at the assembly:

“Thank you very much. I do recognize how truly special this award is, and to be recognized as a recipient of this award is by far the most meaningful and most impactful award that I have ever received. I am honored and extremely humbled to be chosen to receive the Jack Kelly Fair Play Award.

“It is an honor and a privilege any time that I am given the opportunity to represent the United States. With any sport, no matter how long or how hard we train, the simple truth is things will not always turn out exactly the way we plan. From an early age, I was taught to always try my best and strive hard to win; however, I was also taught to work just as hard at winning with humility and – even more difficult, losing with grace. That’s not always easy to do as a young athlete. When we fall short of a win, it’s not easy to let go and accept that it simply wasn’t meant to be; however, with every single win and loss, we are always given the opportunity to demonstrate character – no matter the outcome.

“Competing at the 2022 world championship meet in Budapest was one heck of a roller coaster ride. In the 50-meter backstroke, Justin Ress out-touched me by 0.02 seconds. Naturally, Justin was ecstatic over his win, and while I was disappointed at not reaching my goal, I couldn’t help but still feel proud of myself for placing second at Worlds. Justin’s goal was the exact same as mine, but this time, Justin reached the goal and I didn't.

“Not even three minutes later, however, we received word that Justin had been disqualified and that I was to stand at the top of the podium in Justin’s place and receive the Gold Medal. I watched as Justin’s world crumbled to the ground right in front of me. As I was interviewed following the race, I told them that this is not at all how I wanted to win. I wanted Justin up there with me. I would have rather taken silver and had Justin with me with gold than have me take his World Title with a DQ. It was heartbreaking for both of us.

“I realize that a very small number of athletes have the opportunity to stand on top of the podium with a gold medal around their neck, listening to our National Anthem while holding their hand over their heart. But that’s exactly where I found myself – at the top – but I knew that I didn’t belong there, and I knew my teammate was literally broken. That was by no means how I had envisioned my first time on top of the podium in an individual event – trying hard to not cry and pretending that everything was OK when it clearly was not.

“Not too much longer, we received word that the DQ had been overturned and that Justin would take back the gold. I was genuinely happy for him and immediately went looking for him. I took the medal from my neck, placed it around Justin’s neck, and hugged him while telling him how proud I was of him.

“Justin and I had the same goal in this event. We battled back and forth with this event many times and will probably continue to do so for years to come. That’s probably what makes this event so exciting to watch. We all know that only one gets to stand on the top. I was happy that Justin’s world did not fall apart, and I was happy to be able to share the podium with another USA teammate and friend.

“As elite-level athletes, we must all recognize that many, many young athletes are watching us very carefully. They watch us win and they watch us lose. More importantly, though, they watch how we win and how we lose. We have been given the ability to make a huge, positive impact on those who follow us and watch us compete. We must work hard to lead by example and show young athletes how to play fair, how to be a good teammate and friend, and how to encourage those around us and improve the lives of others. That is what true sportsmanship is all about.”

A quick followup;

Justin Ress gets a hug from Hunter Armstrong at the second medal ceremony in Budapest in 2022 // Getty Images

Justin Ress got his medal ceremony, too.

They’ve changed the rule. A swimmer can be fully submerged at the touch.

Charles Barkley, whose point long ago was to spark a discussion about athletes and role models — Hunter Armstrong is your guy.